International Frog of Mystery

February 21st was Youth Sunday at Knox, a day we traditionally have a small green guest visit as our speaker. We invited him back, but as you can see below, he decided to remain anonymous, even as he was visiting. His visits are not so much sermons as dialogues, so the setup below is a script. Enjoy!

Scripture: Genesis 9:8-17

International Frog of Mystery

Lori: Hi everyone. This is Youth Sunday, and we have a special guest I think you all remember. Let’s say “hi” to . . .

Mystery Frog: Shh! Don’t say my name!

L: Really? What do you want us to call you?

F: I’m the International Frog of Mystery.

L: That’s a pretty big name. Can we call you something shorter?

F: Are you making jokes about how short I am?

L: I would never do that. But that’s a really long name. I’ll get tired saying it.

F: How about “Mystery Frog?”

L: (slowly) “Mr. E. Frog?” That’s way too formal. How about just “Frog”?

F: Not “Mr. E.” Mystery . . . oh, never mind. Frog is fine.

L: So why can’t we use your real name? We all know you.

F: (whispering) I’m not supposed to be here.

L: (whispering back) Why not?

F: International travel is a problem these days. So I hopped across the St. Lawrence River near Kingston. And I didn’t quarantine.

L: You didn’t go to one of those government hotels?

F: Too expensive. I came straight here.

L: Listen, Frog! That’s not safe! What about COVID?

F: I’m wearing a mask. See?

L: Yeah, it’s cute. It’s covered with pictures of pigs.

F: So I’m safe, right?

L: Not so fast. How do you keep your mask on? You have no ears!

F: I’ve got this special clip that ties it at the back of my head. See?

L: This is still risky. Do you wash your hands?

F: Sure! And my feet, too! I love water! Yay! Splash, splash!

L: And do you stay a safe distance away from people?

F: That’s harder. I have to stay two or three big jumps away from everyone.

L: But do you do it?

F: Of course! I’m really trying.

L: Okay. But you still took a big risk. Why did you sneak across the border like that?

F: I miss my friends! It’s lonely. I want to see everyone.

L: But we can’t see each other here, either. That’s why we have this podcast. To keep everyone safe.

F: Yeah. I found that out. But at least we can meet for the recording.

L: You know, frog, I’m still nervous about that. I have to check something.

F: What are you doing with your phone?

L: I’m looking on the internet.

F: You can’t trust everything you read there, you know.

L: True, but I think this one’s safe. It says that frogs can’t get COVID.

F: Really?

L: Right. So you don’t need to quarantine.

F: Yay! Does that mean I can’t make anyone else sick?

L: Nope. You’re COVID free just because you’re a frog.

F: Great! So I can take off my mask, too.

L: Hold on there, Froggy. You keep that mask on.

F: Why? I’m safe.

L: Yes, but we want to keep everyone safe. If people see you with no mask on, they’ll think they can take theirs off too. You have to set a good example.

F: Really? That’s no fun.

L: No, but it’s a cute mask. It’s the same as the people who get vaccinations. They should keep wearing masks too.

F: It is a cute mask. And you know I like pigs. So I guess I’ll still wear it.

L: I’m glad to hear that, Mr. Frog.

F: But it’s so frustrating! I can’t see my friends, and I can’t go anywhere, and I have to wear a mask all the time, and it’s been going on forever! Is COVID ever going to end?

L: Come on, Frog. It’s not the end of the world.

F: It feels like it is.

L: Listen, do you remember Noah’s Ark?

F: Yeah. Hee hee. Ha ha.

L: What’s so funny?

F: All those animals crowded on the ark for weeks and weeks; it’s a good thing they didn’t have to wear masks. Can you imagine what kind of a mask an elephant would wear? (giggles)

L: At least an elephant has ears to hold the mask straps.

F: You’d have to use a bed sheet to make the mask! Hah!

L: Let me guess: you like Elephant jokes, don’t you?

F: I have a whole book of them. But I know other jokes, too. Like: why couldn’t they play cards on Noah’s ark?

L: Why?

F: ‘Cause Noah was standing on the deck! Get it?

L: I get it. But I was trying to say something.

F: Oh yeah? What’s that?

L: The flood was like the end of the world. And after the flood was over, God promised never to wipe out the world again.

F: God promised?

L: Yes. We call it a covenant. It’s like a contract, or a deal. God made that deal not just with Noah and the other humans, but will all the plants and animals of the world. Even frogs.

F: Cool!

L: What do you think the rainbow’s all about?

F: Well, it’s pretty. And it reminds us that all different kinds of people can live together and be amazing when we share the world.

L: Okay . . .

F: And it means that the sunlight is broken up by the raindrops in a prism effect: bending the light differently based on the wavelengths of the different colours.

L: Whoa! Where did that come from?

F: I was bored, so I took an online physics class.

L: Well, the rainbow has even more meanings than that. It’s also a reminder of God’s promise not to end the world again.

F: So, when you said “it’s not the end of the world,” you really meant it.

L: I did. This may be a hard time, but God will help us through it.

F: Wow. A promise from God. A Covenant. That’s great! I feel a lot better now.

L: I’m glad to hear that, Mystery Frog.

F: Hey, you got it right!

L: I was just teasing you, before. But you know, you’re going to have to go.

F: I know. I have to get back across the border. But I’m feeling pretty good now. Can we sing a hymn before I go?

L: Do you have one in mind?

F: How about “Jump for Joy?”

L: I should have guessed.

F: Okay everybody! Stand up and get ready to jump! The words are printed in the Order of Service. Hit it, Alison!

(All sing “Jump for Joy”)

L: I’m glad we got the chance to do that, Froggy. Hey, how are you getting back?

F: I’m going to hop across the river again.

L: Well, I hope you have a safe trip. Stay out of trouble.

F: I’ll try. But you know, going across the border in February, it’s hard to avoid the ICE. Get it? The I-C-E?

L: Do you mean the Immigration and Customs Enforcement people at the American border?

F: Yep. Funny, huh?

L: That’s a terrible joke! Especially in Canada.

F: Well, I’m the International Frog of Mystery. I can’t only do Canadian jokes.

L: Say good-bye, Froggy.

F: “Goodbye Froggy!” Hah! See you next time. Maybe none of us will need masks by then.

L: It’ll be nice to get together again. Bye.

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